Our Prsonal Communication Skills

Our Personal Communication Skills

Communication is an extremely important and mandatory part of our human connection, and it is surprising how many areas, types, and levels makes up communication. We each have a perception of ourselves of how we think we communicate and how others feel we communicate. The results of a communication survey revealed some surprising information and some not so surprising about my communication skills. The survey measured communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness, and listening styles. I scored myself pretty high in the verbal aggressiveness scale, but a colleague and a family member scored me even higher on this same scale. I scored myself low in the communication anxiety area, and my family member and colleague scored me low in this area too but a little higher than I scored myself. Surprisingly, I scored myself sort of in the middle but on the lower side of the listening styles profile, and my family member and colleague scored my listening styles a few points just under my number. This experience was very eye-opening for me, because sometimes we think that we are doing a sufficient job in areas that we may need a little more guidance in. Although my scores weren’t bad they still enlightened me and will help me in my personal life and in my profession as an educator of young children and a helper for their parents.

The two insights about communication I gained are in the area of “Cognitions about Ourselves”. For the need for cognition scale I scored a 58 which falls under the high need for cognition which explains that I “enjoy the thinking process and are self-motivated to apply my thinking skills to a variety of situations”, also that I “select important information and tend to be conscientious and open to new experiences” (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015). The second area of insight for me from this study is “Self-Denigration”, which is the practice of “criticizing or attacking yourself when communicator’s over emphasize their weaknesses or shortcomings” (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015).

 How many times have we said to ourselves when we made a mistake or missed the mark “I’m so stupid”, or “that was so dumb of me”? I have noticed this about myself a few years ago and decided to be watchful of this type of abuse of myself, and I have been teaching it to my friends and colleagues by not allowing them to say these types of words to themselves. This ability of awareness will be extremely helpful in my profession of working with young students and their families, because this type of self-abusive behavior is so common and we can create a chain reaction putting a stop to this type of behavior.

Reference

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3^rd. ed).

     New York: Bedford/St. Martins.

Diffrent Forms of Communication

Different Forms of Communication

 

It seems that very one have different form of communicating based on who they’re speaking to. When we’re speaking to our family members we tend to be more relaxed than we would when speaking to business partners.

When I’m with my family my voice and my chosen words are more relaxed and casual. When I’m in my family home with my siblings and a parent or two, and/or aunts, uncles, and cousins, I seem to go into a different existence. Everyone is talking and most of the time at the same time, but when someone is telling a story everyone gets quiet and listens until someone hears the perfect time to give their input to the story. They are either adding to the story or trying to explain themselves if that story is about them and most of the time something silly they did or said. I always have the best time and loads of laughter in this type of communication. It’s alright and well accepted to interrupt the person talking. Once, I even noticed that my vernacular also gets different if I am in conversations with my Louisiana family my Louisiana French Creole tong comes out. I was never aware that this happens until one year I actually caught myself doing it and all I could do is give a little chuckle and just accept who I am.

When I’m speaking casually with friends I am also in a relaxed conversation and are free to say just about anything I would like to say. With this group there is a level of respect as we tend to take turns speaking and is quiet and listening when someone else is speaking. I am also happy as well as relaxed in conversations with this group and the laughter continues.

My communication with colleagues tend to be more business minded mainly because we are always speaking of what to do, or how to handle certain situations concerning making things better to help a child. Although we are friends, communication in this group is on a level of business minded therefore our language and chosen words are more formal.

In my opinion communication on any level with any person or group of people should always be practiced with respect for the subject being spoken of and of those you’re in conversations with. The main reason for these interactions is to learn about something rather it’s good or bad, positive or negative. With the newly learned information we should be seeking how to help and aid one another depending on the need and each person’s ability to render support.          

Misinformed Communication

Portandia

 

Sometimes our unspoken body language can indicate words and feelings that isn’t quite acurate. I viewed the short story sitcom Portandia and experienced misinformation based on assumptions. A group of people dressed alike gathered together seeming to be eager to work together. One of the team members was a very short man, and at first sight of his team mate’s facial expressions it seems that they didn’t want him on the team. They ran through the city making several stops picking up messages and possibly talking about them as they find them.The short man always went in to get the messages no matter the obstacle. Although I could not hear the program I knew there was something about the short man. With out sound I assumed that they always sent in the short man to do the work of finding and retrieving the massages. However, with sound my assumptions were made clear. The short man always volunteered to go in and retrieve the messages while his team members tried to discurrage him each time; in fact, he kept referring to himself as the little guy and that he can do it.

If this had been a show that I always view my assumptions would be different because I have learned the chareters and is aware of the plots and story line.

Sometimes the words we choose and our body language can speak feelings or thoughts that we do not intend. As early childhood professionals it is imparrative that we are aware of our words, body language, and our facial expressions used when working with children and their families.

In my opinion, every living person should be conserned enough to be careful and watchful of their spoken language, body language, and their facial expressions when enteracting with the general public.     

Competent Communitation Skills

The ability to effectively communicate maybe the most important skill to attain and practice as; sadly, most people are not aware of their miscommunication skills. Most conflicts and confusions are created from simply misunderstanding what the person said, and the lack of using listening skills in order to be attentive while in conversations with others.

Dr. Annie Jones is a formal professor, and is currently a Christian counselor, and is someone I know who practices competent communication skills. Maybe the argument can be used as, “of course she communicates well and practices listening skills, just look at her profession”. I’m sure her profession has helped to shape her skills, but when we are with family and friends we tend to be more relaxed than, not as formal as needed for our professional work. Annie has adopted me as her daughter when my mother died a few years ago, so we have several mother and daughter outings of which is a more relaxed setting for both of us. Whenever I have a problem or if we are just having casual conversations she listens attentively to what’s being said and always responds appropriately to what was said only.

 She does not add subjects that were not a part of the original conversation without a proper transition to another subject. Some people are talking more than listening to others when engaged in conversations. I have often deliberately sat quiet and just watched and listened to conversation interactions, and each time I noticed how many people are not really listening to what’s being said. I often invite others to do this exercise, so try it: just watch, and listen, and also notice how many times and how many people turn the conversation energy towards themselves and their problems or their experiences while someone else is in the middle of their story, or presentation. If more people would just understand how important it is to listen carefully while others are speaking, I’m sure that they’ll learn more. 

As an educator it is very important to practice good listening skills because a child’s well-being is at stake as well as the welcomed feeling and trust of his/her parents. Since I have learned some time ago about the techniques of listening when others are speaking and its importance, I strive daily to practice the skills. Unfortunately, it is very challenging to converse with a person who is not listening or isn’t fully engaged in the conversation with you. So let’s strive to get the word out at an attempt to be respectful of others, put the brakes on conflicts and confusion, and to stop missing out on important information.