Adjourning Team Work

Adjourning

I find it a bit challenging to think back to recall any one earlier experience of group team work that I was involved in that I find hard to adjourn from. Many of them I have forgotten, and sadly, as time goes on we will all forget unless something special or significant was presented that marks the experience.

I believe that gaining trust and learning to communicate respectfully through team work is essential for success in any project. As that trust is formed into friendships, this is what makes it hard to say good bye after completing our uniformed assignment.

As I understand it, a high performing group isn’t necessarily harder to leave if the level of a warm trusting friendship isn’t established. In most cases a high performing group’s focus isn’t on creating trust and friendships, their main focus is perfection of the project they’re working on which then leads into high performance perfection.

Although my colleagues in the study of our MS degrees are on line and we know one another by name, tone and style of our work, and some may have a photo and some do not, I that adjourning from this group work will be the hardest for me. With each of our discussion post, blog post, and our questions and comments that we share as we learn from one another we have always preformed with respect and acceptance. This will be the most memorable experience and the hardest for me to say good bye to. This journey has been the best towards earning my second degree and I will cherish it and will surly never forget it because this journey marks a special and significant experience.

I think it would be a very special closing ritual if we could meet all our colleagues either in person at a really nice banquet provided by the school, or at least by skype so that we can all meet and talk about our study experiences. I understand that there is a possibility during graduation, but that isn’t realistic, or good enough because some of us will graduate at different times and some will not make it to graduation in person.

I believe that I will adjourn from this group of team work colleagues by writing them a farewell note that expresses my appreciation for their comments and questions from our discussion sessions and our blog post, and mostly for their respect and acceptance as each of us presented our thoughts and feelings even if they were different from some colleagues thoughts and feelings.

Adjourning is an essential part of team work because it is the final agreement to all that we have been studying and working on as we close out our team work session. This is often a bitter sweet activity.

Conflict Management

Conflict Management

 

The communication study of this course caused me to take a closer look at what happens when I experience a misunderstanding from a miscommunication with someone. Because of this closer look I have noticed that most people either will not accept the truth, and/or cannot handle the truth about what they did to a colleague, friend, or family member when in the midst of a conflict or disagreement. In addition, and perhaps even more of a problem, of just admitting to a mistake and saying “I’m sorry”.

 

 

During the holiday I experienced a conflict with a longtime friend that I have never had a conflict with. During a conversation of what our holiday plans were, my friend told me that another friend was coming to dinner at her house and I listened while she talked about it. I noticed that she did not invite me and my family to dinner; after all, I had not seen our other friend in a few years and thought that this was a chance for us all to enjoy. I listened as my friend hesitated before she extended a half-witted invite to me. The moment I was honest and let her know that it made me feel a little upset, she immediately got defensive and we ended up in a conflict with angry text messages back and forth, because I read between the lines and discovered that she wasn’t extending an invite to me at that time. I could have had the humanly feelings that my family should be invited to dinner because I had her entire family to dinner at my house last year, but I understood that sometimes it’s just a time for others, but the half-witted invite was the problem to me. Thankfully, my friend and I were able to talk it out and came to an understanding about what happened and apologized to each other for the unfortunate situation.

In reverence to the 3R’s “Respect, Reciprocal, and Responsive”, developed by early childhood specialist Magda Gerber, we respected each other and cared enough to recognize that there was a problem and be responsive enough to take ownership of the part we each played in the conflict. Also, we each were receptive of the problem and the parts that we were responsible for. Our conflict turned from unproductive to productive.

Lessons learned, I could have not been so sensitive, but my thoughts were that good friends should be able to go to each other and be honest letting the other know that something the friend said or did bothered the other. As I see it, this was one of those examples of not being able to accept the truth when it’s shown. In this case I don’t see where a compromise was applicable.

Lessons learned, sometimes a situation looks to be a problem, but isn’t at all what it seems. My friend also explained to me that the other friend invited herself over for that dinner and offered to bring the main dish which means less cooking for my friend, and my friend was trying to follow her husband’s lead about how many people was coming to dinner. Additionally, my friend admitted to trying to be careful of my husband’s wishes. As I see it, my friend was some-what caught in the middle by tying to appease her husband, and taking it for granted that my husband operated like hers. This is why communication is so important; it keeps misunderstandings at bay and keeps good friends and colleague relationships in good standing.

Reference

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. L., & Teven, J. (2015). Real

     Communication (3^rd. ed.). New York: Bedford/ St. Martin’s. Chapter 8,

     “Managing Conflict in Relationships” (pp. 214).

Our Prsonal Communication Skills

Our Personal Communication Skills

Communication is an extremely important and mandatory part of our human connection, and it is surprising how many areas, types, and levels makes up communication. We each have a perception of ourselves of how we think we communicate and how others feel we communicate. The results of a communication survey revealed some surprising information and some not so surprising about my communication skills. The survey measured communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness, and listening styles. I scored myself pretty high in the verbal aggressiveness scale, but a colleague and a family member scored me even higher on this same scale. I scored myself low in the communication anxiety area, and my family member and colleague scored me low in this area too but a little higher than I scored myself. Surprisingly, I scored myself sort of in the middle but on the lower side of the listening styles profile, and my family member and colleague scored my listening styles a few points just under my number. This experience was very eye-opening for me, because sometimes we think that we are doing a sufficient job in areas that we may need a little more guidance in. Although my scores weren’t bad they still enlightened me and will help me in my personal life and in my profession as an educator of young children and a helper for their parents.

The two insights about communication I gained are in the area of “Cognitions about Ourselves”. For the need for cognition scale I scored a 58 which falls under the high need for cognition which explains that I “enjoy the thinking process and are self-motivated to apply my thinking skills to a variety of situations”, also that I “select important information and tend to be conscientious and open to new experiences” (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015). The second area of insight for me from this study is “Self-Denigration”, which is the practice of “criticizing or attacking yourself when communicator’s over emphasize their weaknesses or shortcomings” (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015).

 How many times have we said to ourselves when we made a mistake or missed the mark “I’m so stupid”, or “that was so dumb of me”? I have noticed this about myself a few years ago and decided to be watchful of this type of abuse of myself, and I have been teaching it to my friends and colleagues by not allowing them to say these types of words to themselves. This ability of awareness will be extremely helpful in my profession of working with young students and their families, because this type of self-abusive behavior is so common and we can create a chain reaction putting a stop to this type of behavior.

Reference

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3^rd. ed).

     New York: Bedford/St. Martins.

Diffrent Forms of Communication

Different Forms of Communication

 

It seems that very one have different form of communicating based on who they’re speaking to. When we’re speaking to our family members we tend to be more relaxed than we would when speaking to business partners.

When I’m with my family my voice and my chosen words are more relaxed and casual. When I’m in my family home with my siblings and a parent or two, and/or aunts, uncles, and cousins, I seem to go into a different existence. Everyone is talking and most of the time at the same time, but when someone is telling a story everyone gets quiet and listens until someone hears the perfect time to give their input to the story. They are either adding to the story or trying to explain themselves if that story is about them and most of the time something silly they did or said. I always have the best time and loads of laughter in this type of communication. It’s alright and well accepted to interrupt the person talking. Once, I even noticed that my vernacular also gets different if I am in conversations with my Louisiana family my Louisiana French Creole tong comes out. I was never aware that this happens until one year I actually caught myself doing it and all I could do is give a little chuckle and just accept who I am.

When I’m speaking casually with friends I am also in a relaxed conversation and are free to say just about anything I would like to say. With this group there is a level of respect as we tend to take turns speaking and is quiet and listening when someone else is speaking. I am also happy as well as relaxed in conversations with this group and the laughter continues.

My communication with colleagues tend to be more business minded mainly because we are always speaking of what to do, or how to handle certain situations concerning making things better to help a child. Although we are friends, communication in this group is on a level of business minded therefore our language and chosen words are more formal.

In my opinion communication on any level with any person or group of people should always be practiced with respect for the subject being spoken of and of those you’re in conversations with. The main reason for these interactions is to learn about something rather it’s good or bad, positive or negative. With the newly learned information we should be seeking how to help and aid one another depending on the need and each person’s ability to render support.          

Misinformed Communication

Portandia

 

Sometimes our unspoken body language can indicate words and feelings that isn’t quite acurate. I viewed the short story sitcom Portandia and experienced misinformation based on assumptions. A group of people dressed alike gathered together seeming to be eager to work together. One of the team members was a very short man, and at first sight of his team mate’s facial expressions it seems that they didn’t want him on the team. They ran through the city making several stops picking up messages and possibly talking about them as they find them.The short man always went in to get the messages no matter the obstacle. Although I could not hear the program I knew there was something about the short man. With out sound I assumed that they always sent in the short man to do the work of finding and retrieving the massages. However, with sound my assumptions were made clear. The short man always volunteered to go in and retrieve the messages while his team members tried to discurrage him each time; in fact, he kept referring to himself as the little guy and that he can do it.

If this had been a show that I always view my assumptions would be different because I have learned the chareters and is aware of the plots and story line.

Sometimes the words we choose and our body language can speak feelings or thoughts that we do not intend. As early childhood professionals it is imparrative that we are aware of our words, body language, and our facial expressions used when working with children and their families.

In my opinion, every living person should be conserned enough to be careful and watchful of their spoken language, body language, and their facial expressions when enteracting with the general public.     

Competent Communitation Skills

The ability to effectively communicate maybe the most important skill to attain and practice as; sadly, most people are not aware of their miscommunication skills. Most conflicts and confusions are created from simply misunderstanding what the person said, and the lack of using listening skills in order to be attentive while in conversations with others.

Dr. Annie Jones is a formal professor, and is currently a Christian counselor, and is someone I know who practices competent communication skills. Maybe the argument can be used as, “of course she communicates well and practices listening skills, just look at her profession”. I’m sure her profession has helped to shape her skills, but when we are with family and friends we tend to be more relaxed than, not as formal as needed for our professional work. Annie has adopted me as her daughter when my mother died a few years ago, so we have several mother and daughter outings of which is a more relaxed setting for both of us. Whenever I have a problem or if we are just having casual conversations she listens attentively to what’s being said and always responds appropriately to what was said only.

 She does not add subjects that were not a part of the original conversation without a proper transition to another subject. Some people are talking more than listening to others when engaged in conversations. I have often deliberately sat quiet and just watched and listened to conversation interactions, and each time I noticed how many people are not really listening to what’s being said. I often invite others to do this exercise, so try it: just watch, and listen, and also notice how many times and how many people turn the conversation energy towards themselves and their problems or their experiences while someone else is in the middle of their story, or presentation. If more people would just understand how important it is to listen carefully while others are speaking, I’m sure that they’ll learn more. 

As an educator it is very important to practice good listening skills because a child’s well-being is at stake as well as the welcomed feeling and trust of his/her parents. Since I have learned some time ago about the techniques of listening when others are speaking and its importance, I strive daily to practice the skills. Unfortunately, it is very challenging to converse with a person who is not listening or isn’t fully engaged in the conversation with you. So let’s strive to get the word out at an attempt to be respectful of others, put the brakes on conflicts and confusion, and to stop missing out on important information.    

Personal Hopes and Goals

When I think about children and their families who come from diverse backgrounds, the hope I have for them is that they stay true to who they are and not allow themselves to get so focused on gaining acceptance and fitting into the dominant culture, that they lose sight of their unique heritage and culture. Julie Benavides, professor of Early Childhood Development, stated during her interview that her family worked to fit into the dominant American society that they disowned their family’s culture so much that she didn’t know her family’s native tong (Spanish) and she wasn’t able to help children and families of Hispanic decent because she couldn’t speak the language  (Laureate, 2011).

I would like to set a goal for early childhood educators to operate on an entirely new level of acceptance and celebration of children and families of different cultures. Let’s set a trend that calls attention to how the early childhood educators have discovered the best methods to help children have a love for learning as they excel in their academic endeavors. When we teach children to celebrate who they are and embrace their culture, we create confident young students who excel in all they do, and as a result, encourage their peers to do the same.

As we come to the end of another great study that prepares me and my colleagues to be equipped to help create positive change in our communities as we give children the best educational start that will aid them to continue the quest. I am taking this time to give a thunderous applause to each of my colleagues who care enough to work in this field, and a sincere thank you for all your comments, ideas, and the stories of your personal experiences that both taught us and equipped us with the knowledge of what not to do, and what works best for young children and their families. I thank you for all your support in class. My hopes for each of you is that you stay firm to your beliefs as we take all that we have learned at Walden in our professional studies and put them into practice in our schools and learning centers. Remember, that we have been taught better, so let’s go out and teach others that there are better ways to work with children. I encourage each of you to never compromise when you see something disturbing happening to children or their parents, or to not make excuses for incorrect practices that attempts to define the why’s and why not’s of wrong doings of any kind that will hurt children or their families. May your work never be in vain and may all your dreams come true. Let’s keep properly and respectfully loving and caring for children and their families. Take care of yourselves, guard your beliefs, and let’s get busy.  

Reference

Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). In her own voice: Julie Benavides. [video file] Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.deu.